May 19, 2011

On marriage

The funny thing about love is, you can never tell when you're going to fall and when your life is going to change, forever...

11 1/2 years ago we met online, of all places. Back then it wasn't so common and my mom was a nervous wreck. Sorry mom!! I thought he was cute and had beautiful blue eyes, and according to him, he thought I was too good to be true. We spent two weeks getting to know each other over the phone, topics of conversation ranging anywhere from "where were you born?" to "what color are your bedroom walls?" We would talk well into the morning, never a dull in the conversation, and many times I would wake up to the sound of his steady breathing on the other line. Finally we decided it was time to meet, and boy was I nervous. But in all honesty, once I saw him it felt like we already knew each other, like we were already friends. We met at the Waffle House (we do it up fancy in Georgia) and we just talked. I left that night thinking "this is one of the nicest guys I've ever met" and I wasn't quite sure what would come of us, but I was certain if nothing else, we would remain friends, and that I wanted him in my life somehow.

I don't quite remember the lapse of time after that, but I'm sure it was only a matter of days until he asked me out on a real date this time and, as they say, the rest is history. I was only 18, I hadn't done a lot of dating up to this point, but I had dated enough to know that I had never felt this way about anyone before. When I was with him it just felt easy and right. I didn't know what it was but I knew very early on that he was where I wanted to be, where I needed to be. And that's how I knew that this was the real deal. I fell long before I admitted it to him, but I fell hard.

10 months later he asked me to spend the rest of my life with him and I said yes, with all my heart and soul. 6 months later I became his wife. 10 years later I sit here trying to put into words the life that we've shared together and the love that I haven't stopped feeling, not for one single moment.

Russel, you are my BEST friend. From the day I met you I knew that there was something special about you, something that I needed to be a part of. You are the most genuine man alive. And I could list a million qualities that you possess, but instead i'll just say, I have never met another man who is as good as you. You are the definition of what a husband should be. You make me laugh, you make me cry and you frustrate me beyond belief, but what's amazing is that through all of that you just make me happy. We're like peanut butter and jelly, bagels and cream cheese, milk and cereal...we're just meant to be together.

Our marriage hasn't been perfect, but then I guess the words perfect and marriage don't really go together. We've been through challenging times, hard times and really, really happy times. Our marriage has been tested, but so far it's done nothing but make us stronger. There is nothing that can sway me or shake the love that I have for you, and I can promise you the same thing now that I promised you 10 years ago. I have loved you and will continue to love you every. single. day. of. my. life. For better or for worse, in sickness or in health, through good times and in bad, as long as we both shall live. You are my heart and you are my home. Without you I'm just not me. No matter where we are in this crazy life or what we are doing, all I need is you and our beautiful girls by my side. I would do anything for you and go to the depths of the earth if that's what you asked of me. (Although I can't promise I won't bitch about it the entire time :P ) You have made me happier than you'll ever possibly know. You have forever changed my life. Thank you for loving me. Thank you for deciding 10 years ago that this always stubborn, wildly annoying, brutally honest, more than slightly opinionated imperfect girl was the one you wanted to spend the rest of your life with. I promise I will try really, really, really, REALLY hard to make you not regret it too much! ♥

Apr 12, 2011

More on funny things kids say

I was just telling the girls that I needed to get some new pictures of them soon and I wanted to take them to the railroad tracks. To which Bekah replied "But what if a train comes and hits us?!" and then Maddie chimed in "Yeah. Then we'd be DIED like this..." and she fell to the ground and stuck her tongue out.... LOL

Lawd help me....

Mar 31, 2011

Like mother, like daughter

Bekah was very adamant that I take a picture of the beautiful flowers that have bloomed on the tree in our front yard. "Mommy! You just HAVE to come see this! The flowers are SO beautiful! Bring your camera!" I guess I'm rubbing off my kids, lol.

The big 3-0

Today I'm turning 30. Ahhhhhh!
And so far today we are doing a lot of this...

...a whole lotta nothin!
We (as in me and Maddie) are fighting colds. See her poofy sick eyes?
But I still got serenated :)...TWICE
I love her. Check it out.

Mar 27, 2011

Blah, blah blah

I feel like I should blog since I haven't facebook'd in almost 4 weeks. I feel like I'm in isolation or something, lol. I'm going stir crazy. That combined with the fact that spring break has pretty much sucked for us. We all got sick at some point. Bekah and I were hit with a yucky puke bug. That sucker knocked me out for almost a week, thank God it didn't hit her that hard. Then Russel made a little visit to the ER where he found out he has gallstones and pancreatitis, due to some kind of infection. ??? ugh. He meets with his doctor tomorrow for follow up and to find out whether or not he will need to have surgery. Good part of all of that is he's had almost the entire spring break off with us, at home, chilling. Then Bekah's allergies started acting up, or at least i think it was her allergies since she had no other symptoms of a cold. But now Maddie woke up last night with a barky cough out of nowhere so I don't know what on earth that is. And of course the weather still sucks, with a capital S. I am so ready for sunshine and warm weather it's not even funny. I know, I're sick of hearing about it. I'm sick of talking about it. So enough of my griping I guess and onto less depressing topics.

The cherry blossoms are blooming! We had a break in the rain yesterday so we went up to the capital to walk around. It was so cold, so that didn't last very long, but I snapped a few pictures. As usual Maddie didn't care to stop and smile at the camera for me, but Bekah knows what her mama likes.

Ok, yea, that's it. We really have done absolutely NOTHING so I don't even have any pictures to share. Let's hope this blog perks up a lot and soon!

Mar 15, 2011

Surviving without Facebook

This is Me.
Well, not literally me, obviously. But the cartoon version of me. If i had to sum it up in a picture, this ones best suited. Thanks Google!

I am surviving. It's really not as hard as I thought it would be, honestly. BUT I'd also be completely lying if I said it didn't suck. I feel very out of touch with my friends and adult interaction is totally lacking in my life right now big time. But...I'm surviving. It'll have been one week tomorrow, only...5 weeks to go. CRAP! Who knew I could live without facebook!

On a happier note, spring is creeping in. I photographed these beauties on the tree in our front yard yesterday morning.

Spring makes me happy. Im dying to get out there and see what else I can find but the weather is still so cruddy! We had one pretty day on Friday, Russel washed his car and the girls rode their bikes and played outside for an hour or so, that was nice.

I'm ready for sunshine and warm weather. Parks and picnics. Walks around the lake and outside exercise. COME ON SPRING TIME!!!

Mar 10, 2011

Fasting for Lent

I have never practiced Lent. To be honest I didn't even fully know what it was until two days ago. Where have I been hiding, under a rock? I know. But as of yesterday I am officially fasting facebook for Lent. No facebook... for 40 days....Yeah I know, that's just CRAZY talk! Believe me, no one is more shocked than I did it than myself. It was a completely spur of the moment, impulsive decision I made yesterday morning after I saw a couple of friends taking part in it. "Hey! That's a good idea! I'll fast from facebook too!" Uh...wait..what did I just say? Crap!" Lol. Like I said, I didn't know anything about fasting for Lent. I had no idea that morning I would be clicking off my all time favorite website for 6 whole weeks. And I'd be lying to you if I said I didn't panic and semi-regret it at first. It took me a good 15-20 minutes of staring at my facebook page and mentally talking myself out of doing it, to actually make my decision. Pathetic! Which in turn is why I did it. If something so little as facebook can control you so much, it's time to take a step back.

For awhile now I've been wanting to cut the cord, so to speak. Facebook has become quite the addiction for me. Now I've never done drugs, smoked cigarettes or drank alcohol, so I don't know what it's like to actually have a true addiction. But for me, facebook is as close as I've ever been and I would equate it to crack. I wake up in the morning and after using the rest room and feeding my children it's the first thing I check. I couldn't even tell you how many hours a day I log on that site. As a stay at home mom there is only so much cleaning, cooking, and entertaining of children you can handle before you need something else. And the girls are at the age now where they don't 'need' me as much as they used to. They spend a lot of their day playing together, playing alone, eating, going to school, taking naps, watching tv, and that leaves me...alone. Facebook has become my company, my outlet. A way to keep in touch with the outside world when I don't work and when, for 9+ hours, 5-7 days a week, the only people I talk to are a 3 and 5 year old. It's my way of feeling connected. It's my way of knowing I'm not alone in this hard world of mothering. I keep in touch with old friends through pictures and status updates. I live vicariously through those whose lives are a little more "exciting" than mine. It helps keep these walls from closing in on me. I've come to depend on it very much. So in a way it's become a huge part of my existance, and I don't like that, as innocent as it may be.

Sunday our Pastor talked about Spiritual Disciplines that renew. And I don't know about you but I could use a little renewing. It was a really great sermon and the entire message spoke to me, but two of the disciplines really hit me in the heart. Meditating on God's word and Fasting. It's no big secret that I could use a little more time with God. I've been feeling that for awhile now. I have an amazing relationship with God and I have felt closer to him in this past year than I EVER have. But it's easy to lose sight of him in your day to day. And He should be the one I turn to first thing in the morning before I start my day, not facebook. He should be the one that fulfills me and all my empty places. I left church Sunday stewing over the fact that I needed to make a change, so when Wednesday rolled around and I saw a couple friends abstaining from facebook, I knew that's what I needed to do too.

So wish me luck! Honestly so far it hasn't been as bad as I thought it would, but maybe I'm still in the honeymoon phase. :) More than once I have grabbed for my phone or sat down online without thinking to check my page and then I remembered, I couldn't. And that is kind of a let down. But..I'm surviving!! I plan on spending more time reading my bible and worshiping God, that's still a work in progress. I know I'll get there. Baby steps, right?