May 19, 2011

On marriage

The funny thing about love is, you can never tell when you're going to fall and when your life is going to change, forever...

11 1/2 years ago we met online, of all places. Back then it wasn't so common and my mom was a nervous wreck. Sorry mom!! I thought he was cute and had beautiful blue eyes, and according to him, he thought I was too good to be true. We spent two weeks getting to know each other over the phone, topics of conversation ranging anywhere from "where were you born?" to "what color are your bedroom walls?" We would talk well into the morning, never a dull in the conversation, and many times I would wake up to the sound of his steady breathing on the other line. Finally we decided it was time to meet, and boy was I nervous. But in all honesty, once I saw him it felt like we already knew each other, like we were already friends. We met at the Waffle House (we do it up fancy in Georgia) and we just talked. I left that night thinking "this is one of the nicest guys I've ever met" and I wasn't quite sure what would come of us, but I was certain if nothing else, we would remain friends, and that I wanted him in my life somehow.

I don't quite remember the lapse of time after that, but I'm sure it was only a matter of days until he asked me out on a real date this time and, as they say, the rest is history. I was only 18, I hadn't done a lot of dating up to this point, but I had dated enough to know that I had never felt this way about anyone before. When I was with him it just felt easy and right. I didn't know what it was but I knew very early on that he was where I wanted to be, where I needed to be. And that's how I knew that this was the real deal. I fell long before I admitted it to him, but I fell hard.

10 months later he asked me to spend the rest of my life with him and I said yes, with all my heart and soul. 6 months later I became his wife. 10 years later I sit here trying to put into words the life that we've shared together and the love that I haven't stopped feeling, not for one single moment.

Russel, you are my BEST friend. From the day I met you I knew that there was something special about you, something that I needed to be a part of. You are the most genuine man alive. And I could list a million qualities that you possess, but instead i'll just say, I have never met another man who is as good as you. You are the definition of what a husband should be. You make me laugh, you make me cry and you frustrate me beyond belief, but what's amazing is that through all of that you just make me happy. We're like peanut butter and jelly, bagels and cream cheese, milk and cereal...we're just meant to be together.

Our marriage hasn't been perfect, but then I guess the words perfect and marriage don't really go together. We've been through challenging times, hard times and really, really happy times. Our marriage has been tested, but so far it's done nothing but make us stronger. There is nothing that can sway me or shake the love that I have for you, and I can promise you the same thing now that I promised you 10 years ago. I have loved you and will continue to love you every. single. day. of. my. life. For better or for worse, in sickness or in health, through good times and in bad, as long as we both shall live. You are my heart and you are my home. Without you I'm just not me. No matter where we are in this crazy life or what we are doing, all I need is you and our beautiful girls by my side. I would do anything for you and go to the depths of the earth if that's what you asked of me. (Although I can't promise I won't bitch about it the entire time :P ) You have made me happier than you'll ever possibly know. You have forever changed my life. Thank you for loving me. Thank you for deciding 10 years ago that this always stubborn, wildly annoying, brutally honest, more than slightly opinionated imperfect girl was the one you wanted to spend the rest of your life with. I promise I will try really, really, really, REALLY hard to make you not regret it too much! ♥