Oct 30, 2010

I love them more than chocolate...

I love my kids.
Doesn't the title just about sum it up?
I mean come on, you all KNOW how much i love chocolate, right?
But seriously...
I probably don't say it enough. Scratch that- I DON'T say it enough.
Not how much i love chocolate, how much i love them.
I tell them...all the time. But to everyone else? Probably not.
I sure complain enough about how hard it is, this being a mom thing.
Although I prefer to call it brutal honesty...
But I don't talk enough about the other side of it that I feel.
The completely intoxicating and overwhelming love that I have in my little girls.

Like this one..

She's pure sunshine.
That smile...it fills my heart. It's always there to brighten my day, just when I need it the most.
The way she loves, it's magical.
I could learn a thing or two from her.
She sees the beauty in everything. Broken pieces of glass or rocks, they aren't what you think, they are treasure. Holey leaves aren't damaged, they are amazing. Dandelions aren't weeds, they are beautiful flowers that she picks just for me.
And she sees the beauty in me, although I'm more than incredibly flawed.
I love her much more than chocolate, I love her more than any word in the English dictionary could describe.
But still I fail her.
And it breaks my heart.
But then she looks up at me with that smile, as if I never did anything wrong, wraps her little arms so tightly around me and proclaims "I love you so much, you're the best mommy in the whole world".
My heart breaks again.
Then I am reminded of God's unconditional and amazing love for us. For me. Though I am imperfect. And I thank him for his still, strong voice, spoken through my little girl. The precious gift he gave to me. ME. Surely I didn't deserve it, but he thought enough of me to think that I did.

And this one...

My Madelyn, God how I love her.
Those piercing blue eyes, I could swim in them. I even asked her if I could have them and she said no. =)
She's turning 3 next week (gasp) and her personality has just started to blossom this past year, and boy does she have a big personality.
She's fire and ice, that one.
Terrible 2's has over worn it's welcome in our house, let's just put it that way.
Everyday I watch her navigate through this world, through her emotions and her feelings, trying to find out who she is.
She's more quiet, shy, and reserved. Until she lets you in.
But through her tough exterior I see love.
With her little hugs, kisses and more and more I love you's everyday, she melts my heart.
"Cozy me, mommy" she'll say. God how I wish I could box them up and keep them this little forever.
How on earth did I get this lucky...