Mar 5, 2010

Perfect Mom

***Newsflash: I'm NOT a perfect mom!***

I know, sorry to burst your bubble. I know many of you were under that impression. ;)
I want to be though, so that should count for something, right? No? Yeah, that's what i thought too. (insert big sigh here)

I had all these grand aspirations upon birthing my two beautiful perfect angels (yeah right, we'll save that another post) but so far I can't quite reach up to my own standards. How pathetic is that?!
And you know, it's not that i am really deluded enough to think that the perfect mom exists, i'm not really that nieve. There is no perfect human being therefore there can be no perfect mom.


I know it's an impossibly high standard that we as mother's (or just me?) set for ourselves that will neverrrr be met, but still....i expect myself to reach it and when i fail, i feel less than. It doesn't make sense!

What is my *idea of a perfect mom you ask? Ok, I'll tell you. Wait, you didn't ask? Well, i'll tell you anyways.

The perfect mom would...

- wake up everyday before the kids (4:30/5am in this household)
- she would always get dressed, shower AND brush her teeth all in the same day

i know, i've already set the bar too high , but while we are there let's continue..

- she would NEVER let her kids watch endless amounts of television
- she would sit on the floor and play with her children all day
- she would spend at least 1-2 hours a day teaching her children
- there would be LOTS of crafts, library trips and playdates
- she most definately would never yell or lose her cool
- the house would be spotless at all times and perfectly organized
- she would cut coupons and save hundreds of dollars
- she would make her own house cleaners and laundry detergent
- she would buy and feed her family only the healthiest foods
- she wouldn't have to discipline her kids because they would always be obedient and well behaved
- she would be put together at all times
- she would always smile, never complain
- she would never be tired or need a break
- she would never need to ask for help

and last but not least:

- she would never stop doing something because after all something always needs to be done!

There's more, i'm sure there's more, but i think you get the idea.
I have set an impossibly high standard for myself and I'm exhausted just reading those things let alone trying to do them. I could make another very long, detailed list of the kind of mom i really am, and i think i can honestly say that not a single one of those things is on that list. Unfortunately.

But I'll spare you the reading of that pathetic list and instead i will sum it up by telling you that I may not be perfect but I LOVE my children with all my heart and soul. I love them with a love that far surpasses any love i can imagine or explain. They are my world. I live for them, I breathe for them and I exist for them. I drag myself through the day doing everything I can to make sure they have everything they need and even most things they want. I am exhausted and overwhelmed and most days at my wits end but that's ok. I complain and sometimes stomp my feet when they aren't looking (yes, i do that shuddup) but I do it all anyways. I may not know how to be perfect but I do know how to love them. I'm hoping one day I will stop being so hard on myself for the things I don't do and instead praise myself for the things I DO do. But I don't know when and if that day will ever come.

Until then here's to all you Non Perfect moms out there giving it your all! YOU ROCK!


Andrew, Courtney, Noah & Halle said...

Great post! I'm right there with you :) You are a fantastic mother, and I believe there is somehow perfection in imperfection. Keep it up girl! We are all in this together!!!

My name is Kristen! said...

thanks girl! it helps to know that i'm not alone!!! being a mom is so hard and it gets harder everyday :)